


eddie, my love

by sevenseasofcass



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, Depression, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Heavy Angst, Love, M/M, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenseasofcass/pseuds/sevenseasofcass
Summary: richie's been acting a little off & eddie's gonna investigate
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 61





	eddie, my love

eddie knew. he could always tell when something was wrong with richie. he also knew that richie wouldn't talk about it. every time that eddie had asked richie, he had gotten the same reply. "nothing, dr.k! just had a long night with your mom." and he would laugh, but it wasn't the same richie tozier laugh that eddie kaspbrak knew so well. it was hollow, even though he tried to act normal. it wasn't often, but every once in a while, richie would have days like that. almost like richie wan't even there, just on autopilot before his friends. as much as eddie tried to help, he never knew exactly what to do. he never _really_ knew what was wrong.

  
so, when richie showed up to school, obviously off from the start, eddie decided it would be different that time. he was going to help his best friend. 

* * *

richie had tried to act normal all day, trying not to raise any red flags for any of his friends, just like every time he felt like this. sometimes, he felt like his brain was attacking itself. he struggled to get out of bed, and felt like part of him didn't really wake up. like some of him was missing. he had gotten so good at pretending to be fine that none of his friends even knew anything was wrong, and he wanted to keep it that way.  
  


throughout the whole day, richie was trying to remind himself that he only had to pretend until 3:00. then, he could sleep the rest of the day away and hope for something better the next day. the end of the day bell sounded like angel's songs to richie as he stood, heading straight for the doors of the school. he hadn't waited for his friends like he usually did, which is why he was surprised when he saw eddie speed-walking to him, finally catching up. 

"rich, can we talk?" he had a more somber tone to his voice, and richie felt a tug at his heart. he loved eddie, but on days like those, seeing him hurt. maybe the love was the problem. still, he put on his happy face and spoke like he always did.

"hey, eds! of course we can talk. were me and your mom too loud last night?" he tried to keep up his facade of happiness. 

"you don't have to do that, richie. you don't have to pretend. i know something's wrong." 

richie stopped walking, looking at eddie. "what- what are you talking about?" he couldn't quite muster a nickname for his friend. 

"you've been off all day, and this isn't the first time i've noticed. something's wrong, and i want you to talk to me. obviously you don't have to, but i just want you to know that i'm here." richie had an unreadable expression as eddie finished his sentence.

"if we're going to talk, i don't want to do it on a random road. do you want to come over?" 

* * *

as they arrived at richie's house, eddie noticed that there were no cars in the driveway. richie's parents weren't home. even though eddie had been to richie's house before, he followed him all the way through to his bedroom, where they sat on the bed.

"so, richie. what's wrong?" 

"well, straight to the point then, aren't we, mr.k?" richie had begun to try to buid back up the 'i'm okay' mask, and eddie wasn't going to have any of it. 

"richie. don't do that. you don't have to hide. you're my best friend and i care about you. talk to me." 

richie audibly sighed. "i just, um. sometimes i get these moods. they're like an ocean of tar is dumped on my brain and everything is slowed down. almost like i'm stuck in quicksand. and i can't get out of bed sometimes but i just say i'm sick because i don't want anyone to think i'm weak but i'm just so tired, eddie. and i-" he was cut off by a choked sob. he wondered when he started crying. 

eddie pulled him into a hug, running a soothing hand up and down his back. after a few minutes, richie had calmed down slightly and pulled away to continue his explanation. 

"i get so scared sometimes, eddie." he looked so helpless it broke eddie's heart.

"why, rich?" 

"because i-" he wiped his eyes, looking desperately at his friend, almost like he was deciding whether or not to say what was on his mind. 

"i'm in love with you and i'm so terrified." 

eddie didn't know what to say, so he opted to say nothing. he reached forward, pushing some of richie's unruly hair out of his face. "rich. i know it isn't going to fix everything, and it honestly might not fix anything at all, but i love you too." he left his hand on richie's cheek, a small smile on his face. 

"you don't have to say that because you feel bad. i'm not going to guilt you into saying it." richie put his hand over eddie's, looking forlorn. 

"no, rich. you didn't guilt me into anything. i love you and your 'your mom' jokes and your laugh and i'm never going to admit it again, but i like when you call me eds. it probably would've taken me a little longer given different circumstances, but i would've said it anyway." 

that's all it took for richie to lean forward, kissing eddie. eddie immediately kissed back. they both pulled away, a closed-mouth smile on both of their faces.

eddie pressed their foreheads together, intertwining their fingers. "please promise me you'll tell me when you feel this way. i love you and i don't want you to suffer alone. i'm here to hold you and kiss you and help you through it." 

"i promise," richie whispered. 

* * *

after a while of laying next to each other on richie's bed, the taller of the two finally broke the silence. 

"so, are we dating now?" he turned to look at eddie.

"well, are you asking me to be your boyfriend, trashmouth?" he giggled slightly, scooting a little closer to richie.

"yeah, eds. i'm asking you to be my boyfriend." 

"of course i'll be your boyfriend." he smiled. "and don't call me that." 

**Author's Note:**

> i really appreciate comments! feedback keeps me going :)
> 
> here's my disclaimer!  
> with this work i do not mean to imply that getting in a relationship will fix depression! i am aware that's not how it works, and i tried to show that with eddie telling richie to let him know when he feels depressed! i hope you guys enjoy this. 
> 
> if you ever feel anxious, depressed, or alone, just know that you are loved, and you are never alone. the world is a better place with you in it :) stay strong, folks! it gets better.


End file.
